Christmas is for Christmas

Graham’s on the campaign trail to stick Christmas right where it belongs

Larry David is an absolute comedy genius. Have you ever seen the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where he’s caught out by “The Cut Off Time”?

He needs some advice from his friend’s wife. It’s evening, 5 past 10, and he starts to call her. His wife says, “what are you doing, it’s past the cut off time”. “No, the cut off time is 10.30” he retorts, then proceeds with the call…and wakes up his friend’s wife who angrily tells him he’s way past her cut off time of 9.30!

Which brings me perfectly – in a round about way - to the current moot point in the Bridgewood household.

Last weekend (Saturday 4th November to be precise) my wife asked this question to test the water: “is it OK to start watching Christmas movies yet?”

What??! NO. Of course not! It’s the start of November. The start of November. It’s way before the “cut off time”.

And so I rebuffed her festive movie advances. But now she’s planted the seed, it’s there, hanging on the horizon, ready to engulf us, like an avalanche of festiveness!

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas, I really do. My kids are at the age where they’re in the epicentre of the Christmas excitement zone and it’s a joy to be part of – apart from the worry that they might actually implode from the levels of Santa-based exhilaration!

BUT do the festivities and thoughts of Christmas really need to start almost 2 months in advance??!!

Er, no.

There’s no justification for the Christmas decorations to go up in shopping centres in October, no reason for me to have already witnessed my first Christmas TV ads, no need to tell us there are 65 more sleeps ‘til Santa (even tongue in cheek to get laugh on social media!) and no need to start watching Christmas movies BEFORE bonfire night!

To keep Christmas special we need to keep it where it belongs…at Christmas. Otherwise we’ll end up like that bloke who celebrates Christmas every day - with presents and a turkey dinner. And he’s an idiot.

But without official rules in place, there’s nothing to stop the runaway festive’s anarchy!

So, I speak to you today to secure your backing to establish a national ‘cut-off time’ for Christmas. I commend to the house that we should ban any Christmas activity pre-November 25th.  

No decorations in the shops until this date. No Christmas movie watching until then. No counting how many sleeps. No Christmas commercials. No mince pies. No trees. No jam-packing the shopping centres…

After November 25th you’re free to go hell for festive leather, but not before.

People of Britain, are you with me?

Merry (post 25th November) Christmas.

Graham Bridgewood